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Charlie got into gardening as a child when her farmer father
used to bury her dolls
in the top field for her to dig up when she was lonely and he couldn't
be bothered doing the ploughing.
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Since a particulaly vivid dream of being chewed up by a lawnmower
and spat out as a million tiny but perfectly formed Charlies,
she has only ever cut her grass using gerbils pegged down and
attached to strings long enough to eat the lawn, but short enough
to avoid the carrots.
Once, the Daily Mail had a campaign to free her after she was imprisoned
for shooting a rare kestrel whom she caught
on her land trying to steal a couple
of gerbils to eat. However, she finished her two week sentance before the
campaign had any real effect.
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A young Charlie once appeared on Blue Peter with her 1/2 mile high
Sunflower. She hoped that it's seeds would grow an
equally impressive plant the following year. However,
when planted, all the seeds grew downwards 4 miles into the soil
with their roots peeping outwards towards the sky.
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After growing an extremely tough Venus Fly Trap, she built a remote
controlled lamp on top of it - then appeared on a time
lapse special of Robot Wars, using
the lamp to control in which direction the plant faces with a vibro function
in its 'mouth'
to make it bite.
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Once after a strenuous bit of digging, Alan Titchmarsh noticed that
the vain's on
Charlie's arms were not only particulaly visible but
also the blue ones formed an accurate
map of the London Underground and the red ones, the bus route.
Since a pimple lay on Camden and acting on a hunch - the team all
went there with their spades and dug up the track where the pimple lay.
Underneath, they found a Roman Helmet with the power to cast
a mild breeze and drizzle wherever and whenever they so desire.
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Ground Force rules state that if a 'surprisee' returns home and
catches the team at work, then they must cover the garden in concrete
and leave in silence acting as if the 'surprisee' doesn't even exist
and they were never there.
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Charlie kept her gardenning skills a secret at her interview for Ground
Force. When the producers found out that she could also garden, they
were delighted.
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NOTE TO SELF
-- insert joke about breasts 'n' bralessness here before uploading --
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Ian Barrett, of
Jellyfysh.com spotted Charlie utilizing some sort of water
feature based special move in
order to blast weed killer out of her nose.
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