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Whilst Madonna slept, Guy Ritchie once arranged for a mansion to
be built around the outside of their house so that when
she awoke, she'd step outside the front door to collect the milk and
find herself in the living room.
Guy has to do things like this because when a girl's got everything,
what else is there to get her but completely invented random nonsense?
Other gifts which Madonna didn't have previously which she has recieved
from Guy include a collection of guns which fire ping pong balls at
a speed which can still kill, a lifesize waxwork of Steve Buscemi with a tiny wick on
his hat so he can be used as a candle, and a tablet which makes your
penis 3 inches longer. He found out about this last one when
a stranger caled Julie6548xy6@yahoo.com e-mailed him ten times
in a row to tell him about it. He liked her persistancy.
He didn't get 'Lock Stock'
the green light without persistancy. However,
upon taking the tablet, he found that the rest of his body, sans penis, simply shrunk
a bit.
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Madonna says that you can tell if you love someone because
then "They don't snore, they purr"
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Once a week, Madonna and Guy play a game of 'Jet Set Willy', in which she'll not
let him into bed until he has tidied the mansion.
The bed, a prop from the Blonde Ambition tour, has a switch on the side which makes it
levitate - which Guy only found out about after stashing his
pornography under it.
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Madonna is renowned for her troublesome interviews. Most notoriously,
she was once interviewed by MTV winner Natalie Stalwart, age 13, whom
she forced into telling the audience which boys at school she'd
snog and then went on to call "a sick f***" when only asked about
the fourthcoming tour.
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Guy is very supersticious. If Madonna wants to live like an English Princes,
then he won't let her drive. Likewise, supersticion means that he
insists on two separate bank accounts.
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Between the dining hall and the priest's hole, builder's on Madonna's
mansion have conceiled a hidden room containing "Hanky Panky" on 7", the Evita
soundtrack, the "American Pie" CD, and a film reel looping the scene of
Madonna performing felatio on a bottle from "In Bed with Madonna".
They hope that in years to come, this 'time capsule' will be discovered
and that the only things the people of the future have
to remember her by will be this small collection.
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Madonna got into her cowboy phase after a stunt which
Guy performed in order to impress
her. He baught a Bucking Bronko,
covered it in a plastic sphere full of ping pong balls, and,
dressed as l'arc de Triamphe, proceeded to ride the bronko for
six whole hours - thus giving the impression of being a
giant Snowshaker.
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Guy Richie's old house used to have two TV's in the living room -
one would show Only Fools and Horses, the other 'The Michael Winner
Movie Network'. Whilst watching both, an idea came as if from nowhere
for 'Lock Stock'. The idea was the most exciting thing that had
ever happened to him, so exciting
that he creamed his eclair on the spot.
Samual Parker, age 6, from Norwich pleads "Please Please
make another movie, Guy. They're Brilliant!"
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Madonna's favorite thing ever is Ali G Peter Sellers
White Town's Jyoti Myshra Bull Fighting
Ricky Tomlinson Trigger Happy TV
Fetch Armstrong
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Madonna collects modern art - her favorite piece is 'Piss Christ' which
she keeps in the fridge and has to keep reminding daughter Rollo from Faithless
that it isn't a lolly.
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Madonna hates being called 'Madge' as she thinks that it's some of
that cockney rhyming stuff that her husband does.
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