INFORMATION CONTACT US LINKS In the new series of 'Troubleshooter', Sir John Harvey Jones saves an ailing firm of paper makers by featuring Gwen Stefani and giving them a Stargate remix. To journalists, a "'where are they now?' feature on the Gladiators" is common slang for a pub crawl. DID YOU KNOW >> Gladiator Hunter can tell a pair of shoes from a pair of trainers from up to 50 miles away, though unfortunately cannot spot a fight until he detects the smell of breaking glass. Gladiators was axed after the Roderick twins, 6, copied a 'Powerball' scene from the programme on Grandad's head. After making a joke about Powerballs looking like Hamster Balls and Pugel Sticks looking like cotton wool buds, Bradley Walsh was unsucessfully sued by 12 different comedy writers who each claimed they'd sent the same rather obvious joke into ITV's script department and therefor must have had it stolen. In front of the So Solid Crew's six surviving Grandmas only MC Romeo would dare swear and even then he'll only swear as if reading the swearword from a page where it is printed in "respectful Times New Roman" font rather than in the "So Solid Helvetica Bold" font he usually speaks. MC Neutrino's mum used to hide the family portrait in the toilet whenever Joyce from the church shopping club came round. His dad, to avoid similar embarrisment, tells colleagues that his son's an abatoir worker turned stripper after the foot and mouth lay offs and that the 'Neutrino' tattoo on his chest is simply a fascinating birth mark. The font of his tattoo is arial bold - simple yet effective. If, like me, you think learning the names of the So Solid Crew will impress your friends, then try our So Solid Memoriser Of all the pornography on all the world wide web, Morrissey could only find three images that actually 'did' anything for him...[below] fullmonkeyfacial.jpg erasure-guesthouseparadiso-themusical.jpg camel_shedding_its_skin.jpg PRETEND PAPARAZZI