INFORMATION CONTACT US LINKS At night, Bono sleeps inside a giant replica of an egg. The membrane, yolk and all of its parts are reproduced on an exact scale of 6000:1 This gives perfect tranquility, though he has to beware, for if he sleeps for any longer than 6 hours, then there is a slight danger that he may begin to sprout wings and a beak. The new series of Rock Family Trees instead of tracing the history of band line ups, will instead concentrate on tracing back the roots of gossip. In the first episode, the rumour 'U2 are the best band in the world' is traced back through 90% of the population, through Q magazine, through Channel 4's top hundred singles, through local radio DJs, through Bruno Brookes, and eventually found to have been started by Bono himself in a 1987 interview with Rick Sky. Later in the series, it is revealed that Mark Almond never had his stomach pumped after sucking off an entire submarine full of sailors. Moreso, he is not even gay, just waiting for the right woman - like what Cliff is. (Traditional Rock fan Brian Parker started that one as an attempt to sabotage the New Romatic movement). We also learn that the Manic Street Preachers didn't have their own toilets at Glastonbury, they had their own tourettes - thus they have kept to their socialist roots afterall. U2's song 'The Fly' was written as an intended soundtrack to the silent classic film 'The Fly'. Just like Queen had previously done with 'Metropolis'. However, Bono later discovered that the colour balance and sound had been turned down on his telly, and that the film isn't really silent or old at all. He'd also been playing a normal recording on longplay, leading to the belief that the film lasted the 4:30 of the song, not 89 minutes. U2 were nearly sued for copyright over the lyrics to the song 'Elevation' ("Like a MOLE digging in a HOLE digging in a SOLE for a BOWL") by Stuart Prendegast, age 6, who had written the structuarly similar "Lee Parker parked his car in a bum in a bar in a jam jar" when he was five. Bono has had to wear Shades ever since a fawlty lazer on the 'With or Without UK' tour shot him in the eye, leaving him with x-ray vision and the ability to see through clothing. The shades are so thick that they render him almost blind but, as a good catholic, he doesn't want to see a naked woman until his wedding day. 'Beautiful Day' was written about the time of the year (roundabout March) when you've just spent your last WHSmith voucher left over from Christmas and you no longer have to decide between a massive variety of things you don't really want (Harry Potter books to Jim Davidson live videos with nothing in the middle) only to be served by a woman whom is identical to your mum in every way except she doesn't care about or even recognise you - which leads to nightmares that your mum doesn't know who you are and, believing you to be an intruder, tries to kill you with the Braun blender when you go home for easter. 'Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me' is about the childhood excitement of a visit from a favorite relative at Christmas. 'Hold me' - "Lovely to see you again." 'Thrill me' - "What exciting present have you got me?" 'kiss me' - "Thanks - what is it?" 'Kill me' - "It's a bleeding WHSmiths token in a giant box." Likewise, 'Lemon' is about the time The Edge baught a lemon scented marker pen with his ten pound token, in the hope of getting the change in coins - but instead was given £9.42s worth of individual penny vouchers. Every year, Bono chooses to spend his vouchers on 'The Best Of U2' CD, which he proceeds to give to Oxfam in order "to give something back and do his bit to help rebalance the debt" Burning halo writes>> I spotted Bono Playing Scrabble on the sidewalk outside Hanover Quay Studios (June 4th). He proffered the word, "Yeti," thereby winning a double word score and blowing his opponents away. He later went on to record a new song entitled, "All The Letters You Can't Leave Behind." But you didn't here it from me! PRETEND PAPARAZZI